Long past hurts GM’s future

Wes Browne

Pointing out Albert Einstein’s brilliance is akin to noting the sun comes up each morning. Though true, it’s not exactly enlightening. However, what sometimes escapes notice is that his brilliance was not confined to science. When it comes to marketing, perhaps General Motors should look to Einstein?

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Back before the bottom finally fell out, and GM mercifully declared bankruptcy, the company ran a series of Chevrolet ads featuring retired NFL star Howie Long. In the ads, he appeared particularly condescending and smug while he made smirking digs at Toyota, Honda and Ford products. The message seemed to be this: If you people would get your heads out of your hind ends, you would realize Chevrolet products are better than these others. The problem with the message was that the last 20 years have proved this premise consistently untrue.

As Howie spread his message, the economy melted down and so did GM. Things needed to change at GM, and not in a small way. It was time to start over — with the help of an infusion of government (the American people’s) cash. The company declared bankruptcy and reorganized with a plan to be leaner and produce better products that appeal to a wider spectrum of American consumers. Going forward things would be different.

To embody this drastic change GM chose to make the symbol — drumroll: a smug and condescending Howie Long making digs at Toyota, Honda and Ford products. Wait … what?

At first I thought, OK they’re saving money by running their old commercials, but the new stuff is coming. Problem is; it wasn’t. This Thanksgiving, sports viewers were treated to a slew of new commercials in which Howie Long talked down to people who unwisely did not follow his earlier advice to buy Chevy. Woe to the poor fool Howie chides for being so stupid that he bought a Ford truck. Perhaps Howie strikes a chord with a segment of the American population, but I suspect it Is the same segment that already was buying Chevy. Clearly, that wasn’t enough. When you preach to the choir you don’t convert anyone.

Seriously, you couldn’t afford a new pitch man, GM? You are hemorrhaging billions. It’s time to bench Howie — fire your ad agency — and hire the Geico caveman, or the Geico bundle of money, or the Geico pothole, or the Geico gecko, or the ghost of the deceased Taco Bell Chihuahua for all I care. But Lord in heaven, please put smug Howie out of our misery.

This is a company that recently announced plans to begin repaying billions to the U.S. government in spite of the fact that it still is losing billions. We get it. You’re trying to improve your public image by promising the absurd. Why so tone deaf and frugal when it comes to Howie Long? To be honest, I wasn’t real excited about buying Chevy based on the recent track record. Howie just guarantees it. It’s time to start changing people’s minds, not cementing their opinions.

A friend of my father’s was a longtime GM executive. Recently, he has bemoaned that the Obama administration “ruined GM.” I’m not saying what the government did with the auto industry was either good or bad. But, I think saying someone ruined GM is like saying someone killed a zombie. Can you kill what’s already dead? GM was in the grave before it punched through the dirt and came out groaning. If it was anything like a zombie movie, it was looking for brains. Perhaps that was because GM couldn’t find any in its marketing department.

Again, turn to the most famous brain of the last century. Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” When this problem was created, someone at GM thought Howie Long could sell cars and trucks by acting like a jerk. In addition to being a retired football player, Howie also should become a retired pitchman.

Wes Browne is a Richmond attorney. He can be reached at 624-4077.

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