By Bill Robinson
Associated Press
RICHMOND — The old saying goes that if March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb or vice versa.
And I have found, over the decades, that there is a bit of truth in that. Nice, warm, pea-planting weather (lamb-like) often is a pretty sure sign that the end of the month will be miserably cold and dreary. Conversely, cool, blustery winds, cold rain and hints of snow at the beginning of the month signal time to fire up the tillers and rejoice in blossoms and sunshine come April Fool’s Day.
But what if March comes in like a polar bear? (And it did just that here in Paint Lick on Monday .) Is it supposed to go out like a seal or a penguin? It’s been way too cold here for the last several months for any self-respecting lion to be hanging around and all the lambs I know about have been sold to slaughter.
In the spirit of alternative agriculture crops, one of my neighbors has mentioned that he might turn his green houses into ice houses and start growing penguins. Problem is, like most alternative crops and livestock, there simply is not much of a market for penguins these days because the ice melts off the ponds here well before July and penguins still have problems with our humidity in August.
And then there’s the problem of figuring out what farm-raised penguins are good for. It is, in fact, perplexing, especially when we can’t figure out what to do with paw-paws and persimmons. Which may be a moot point because persimmons and paw-paws require warm climates. If the trend continues and the growing season gets much shorter here in central Kentucky, I figure that the universities will commence looking for ways to make vodka out of turnips.
Right now, I’m just interested to see what the end of the month will look like. After all, I constantly am reminded that 95.5 percent of the world’s scientists are absolutely sure that the globe on which we live is getting warmer every day. I believe that I’m speaking for most of the population on the eastern coast of the United States when I suggest that we’d love to see some of that warming. I’d also like to ask all 95.5 of the naysayers exactly when we might expect the next heat wave.
None of them have bothered to predict this cool down and they all seem bent on believing that we’re warming up. I’d just like to know the forecast before I shell out hard-earned cash for garden seed. On the other hand, I’d like to hear from that 4.5 percent of the world’s scientists who are not so convinced, or at least remain neutral on this global warming scheme.
Who are they and who do they work for? Of course, I’ve had the same problem identifying the 95.5 percent of warmer weather warners. Scientists apparently are adept at going underground when you try to hold their feet to the fire, but, also, apparently, quite deft at responding to polls and questionnaires to which they don’t have to sign their names.
I’d really like to see those polls, read the questions and know who sent them out. I’d like to know who did the analysis and be convinced that there was much science about the process.
In the meantime, all I’ve done is watch the daily temperatures in Garrard County and I can tell you for sure that the last 12 months have been the coolest and coldest that I’ve seen or felt in 25 years. I don’t know what that has to do with science but it is a fact. It seems to me, that some scientists, somewhere ought to take that into consideration.
Sign me skeptical.
Ike Adams can be reached by e-mail at ikeadams@aol.com.
