Lifestyles & Community
The “Blonde Basher” strikes again!
I was just thinking the other day about my favorite people, blondes. A friend gave me the title “Blonde Basher,” and others seem to have picked up on that. I was talking with another friend the other day and he said, ‘If you don’t hurry and do another column about blondes, someone else may claim your title as the “Blonde Basher.”’ So, here goes!
A husband and his blonde wife were discussing the difficulty she continued to have in balancing her check book. He very patiently explained what she needed to do. When the end of the next month came, she painstakingly worked on the figures and when she finished, she called him to come and look. He laid his newspaper down and walked over to the desk, looked over her shoulder and saw, Mortgage payment, $666.70, Electric bill, $120.43, gas bill, $112.76, water bill, $42.45, Wal Mart, $268.04, ESP, $1,146.33. He asked, “What is this ESP $1,146.33?” She answered, “Oh, that means error some place.”
A few days later, the husband was opening the day’s mail and called out to his blonde wife, who was in the kitchen, “Honey, the bank has returned one of your checks.”
She shouted back, ”Oh good, that means I can use it some place else.”
A blonde injured her knee while at work. She went to the personnel office to fill out insurance papers. When she finished the paper work, she took it to the personnel clerk. He looked the papers over and asked, “Which knee was it? ” Her reply, “Mine.”
A man was on a speaking tour in Europe. He called his blonde wife one day and told her he had just given a speech for 250 librarians. Her question was, “How much is that in American money?
A blonde received a new AM radio as a gift. She had it for several months before she discovered she could use it in the PM.
The CEO of a firm was caught between floors in the elevator of his office building. After much shouting and banging on the doors, he finally got someone’s attention. Two hours later, when the elevator mechanic arrived, he was finally free, When he arrived back at his desk, his efficient blonde secretary had left a note on his desk that read, “The elevator repairman will be here in two hours.”
A blonde was a contestant on a TV quiz show. She was asked, “Who succeeded the first President of the United States?” Her answer, “The second one.”
A customer came into a pet shop and inquired of the blonde clerk, “Do you have any kittens going cheap?” “No,” she answered, “All our kittens go meow.”
A blonde was working with a travel agent, preparing for a trip to Scotland. The agent told her, “You’ll need a passport and a visa.” The blonde said, “I have a passport, do you think they’ll take a MasterCard?”
A PERSONAL WORD – Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day. I had already asked my wonderful readers to express their love and appreciation to those members of their families who are currently serving and to those who are veterans. Then I was prepared to ask you to find at least one or the other, who is not a family member and express your appreciation to them as well. The terrible tragedy that happened at Ft. Hood, Texas makes that seem even more important. Please, let’s show them how much we admire them and their service to our country.
TRIVIA ANSWER – The TV show, Sanford and Son, was named for the star Redd Foxx, who real name was John Elroy Sanford.
TRIVIA QUESTION – Other than the fact that it is our state Capital, what else is unique about Frankfort that no other city in the state can claim?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY – You realize you’re old, when your wife tells you to pull in your stomach, and you already have.
- Lifestyles & Community
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Timely beef cattle tips for July
Spring-calving cow herd
• Remove bulls from the cow herd by the end of the month and keep them away from the cows. A short calving season can concentrate labor during the calving season; group calves by age so that it is easier to find a convenient time to vaccinate, castrate, dehorn, etc.; and provide a more uniform group of calves at market time. -
Death of maples in the landscape
There have been reports pretty much statewide of landscape maple trees suddenly dying, according to the University of Kentucky.
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In love with love apples
It is just about time for harvesting tomatoes, those delightful fruits of summer that we lust for through the cold months of the year.
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Fair goers treated to works of art
In a world of mass production and instant gratification, it is comforting to know that there are still crafters, artisans and gardeners in Madison County that take time to create their own works of art.
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Financial reform hurts poor people
“At the dark end of the street,
That’s where we’ll always meet.”
— Gram Parsons
One the insights that I got from Gary Rivlin’s “Broke USA” is that people often use payday lenders because they don’t have access to traditional banks. -
The Terrace honored for safety
Employees of The Terrace Nursing and Rehabilitation Facility in Berea have worked more than one million hours without a lost-time employee injury.
For the second consecutive year, the Kentucky Labor Cabinet recognized the facility for the safety milestone in May during the Governor’s Safety and Health Conference at the Galt House in Louisville. About 600 safety-oriented professionals from across the state attend the conference each year to participate in OSHA-related training courses. -
Praise will deliver us from the power of the enemy
“Behold the wicked brings forth iniquity.. I will praise the Lord according to his righteousness.” (Psalm 7:14, 17)
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Wellington Court
Wellington Court was one of Richmond’s first subdivisions. It opened around 1929.
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Aging is tough, and sometimes funny
I was just thinking the other day about how difficult it is to be old. We stay confused much of the time. Things continue to change, often faster than we can comprehend.
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How to choose a Medigap policy
Some seniors are surprised when they learn that their red, white and blue Medicare card does not cover all of their doctor and hospital bills. One way to help with the extra costs is to purchase a Medigap policy.
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Timely beef cattle tips for July
