It is really interesting to be old

October 13, 2009

Dick Ham The Richmond Register Tue Oct 13, 2009, 07:21 AM EDT

I was just thinking the other day about what it is like to be old. We have interesting experiences and remember how things used to be.

I was waiting for “Nancie the shopper” the other day. I was standing near the door of a store and a lovely lady walked up to the door. We began to converse and she informed me that the bus she was expecting to pick her up had failed to arrive, and she had called her daughter to come for her. It was obvious to me that she was not happy about the situation, and in the course of our conversation, she said, “The Lord has let me live to be 80 years old, but he hasn’t told me I can’t be cranky.”

Two elderly men met on the street, and one said to the other, “Gee, I haven’t seen you in years. I can’t seem to remember, was it you or your brother who died?”

Two elderly ladies were talking one day, and one said to the other, “Our doctor advised my husband and me to try to reactivate our love life. We decided to do that and I asked my husband if he remembered how he used to nibble my ear, thinking that would at least be a start. He took the romance out of the whole thing by getting up to go get his teeth.”

We have a hard time adjusting to changes like these. Hardware used to be a store, not computer equipment. Enter was a sign we saw on a door, not a button on a computer keyboard. A chip used to be a small piece of wood. Fast food was what we ate during Lent. Rock music used to take place when grandma sang a lullaby in a rocking chair.

A young man was walking in a park one day and came upon an elderly gentleman, who was sitting on a bench crying uncontrollably. Not wishing to intervene, but still concerned, the young man approached the old man, and asked, “Sir, is everything all right?” The old man looked up, and with tears in his eyes answered, “I’m 90 years old, and last week I married the most beautiful younger woman in the world. She does everything for me, she cooks, cleans, shops, washes the car and mows the lawn. She basically does whatever I could want or imagine.”

“Oh”, the younger man said, “that certainly doesn’t seem so bad, why are you crying?”

“Well” sobs the old man, “I can’t remember where I live.”

An old man was driving on the freeway when his cell phone rang. It was his wife calling. She said, “Herman, I just heard on the news, there’s a car going the wrong way on the freeway, please be careful.”

“Good golly” Herman exclaimed, “It’s not just one car, it’s hundreds of them.”

There are people who honestly believe that older persons don’t sweat. I’m convinced we just don’t do things that make us sweat.

How many of you have noticed that the toys that were so special to you when you were a child are now found in antique malls with enormous price tags on them?

We know we’re old because we can remember when movies were rated on how good they were, rather than who is permitted to see them.

Trivia answer

Cynthiana is the only town in Kentucky named for two women. Pioneer founder Robert Harris named the town for his two daughters, Cynthia and Anna.

Trivia question

What Academy Award winning actress was born in a coal camp at Packard in Whitley County, Ky.?

Thought for the day

The worst thing about a popular song is it makes everyone think they can sing.

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Lifestyles & Community

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A recent health ranking listed Madison County as the 20th healthiest county in the state. It measured factors such as exercise, access to health care and smoking. Do you smoke cigarettes?

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