RICHMOND —
“Teach your children well.”
-Crosby, Stills and Nash
I have three suggestions for parents concerning money:
1. Keep your children from being spoiled rich jerks.
If your child grows up with substantial money, note that money can bring power and security, but it also can bring insecurity. People who are rich never know if someone likes them for who they are or for their money. Many develop the attitude that everyone wants something from them, and they are often right.
There are some steps to making sure that money does not warp them.
1. Don’t let them have it all at once. Most people spend a lifetime gathering significant wealth. Getting too much too young does not give a person the proper perspective.
2. Make sure they understand it is not easy to come by. Having them earn money, rather than having it given to them, is a good way for them to find out what other people do to feed themselves.
3. Make sure they know money can do good things. Too many people with inherited wealth spend it trying to impress other people with inherited wealth.
4. Don’t let them think in terms of a big inheritance. I have seen many young people waste their lives waiting for a rich relative to die and leave them a big lump sum.
5. Be a good role model. If you give money to charity, your children probably will too. If you volunteer to do things in the community, your children will follow your lead.
If you want to teach your children not to be spoiled, rich jerks, don’t act like one yourself.
2. They don’t teach your children much about money in college.
There are three things a college graduate should know about money: How to make it, how to keep it and how to use it to develop a lifestyle that that will give you long-term happiness.
Employers hire employees to help employers make more money. They are not interested in accommodating a graduate’s personal desires unless that somehow happens to coincide with adding to the bottom line.
Graduates need to sell them. They don’t need to sell the graduates.
Which leads to the second topic: How to keep the money you make.
The days of lifetime employment are over. Corporations and government entities come in and cut thousands of jobs on a whim. They will invent a computer or robot that does your job.
In order to get through that period, you need to be financially independent.
I keep running into the same type of college graduates. They have big credit card debts, student loans outstanding, payments on cars they’re upside-down on and looking to buy their first home.
Before buying a brand new car or a house, the focus needs to be on paying down debt and getting some savings in the bank.
Somewhere I read that a person’s financial style is set by age 27. If a person is a spender at 20, he may get over it by 30. If he is a spender at 30, he probably will be for the rest of his life.
The years after college are the time to be “reborn,” in a financial sense.
3. When it comes to children, play the hand that is dealt to you.
My father was a professional gambler. When faced with any kind of crisis, he would say, “You have to play the hand that is dealt you.”
In my career as a structured settlement consultant, a number of my clients have been brain injured or special needs children. The parents, almost universally, step up to the plate and do what they need to do to make it better for their children.
Being the parent of a special needs child is one of the toughest jobs in the world. It is a lifelong assignment. You don’t ship the child out the door at age 18. Or 30. Or 50. Or ever.
The parents are involved until the day they die.
I’ve dealt with hundreds of parents of special needs children. They take the hand that is dealt to them and turn that hand into aces.
Any child, especially a special needs child, forces parents to understand there is a world beyond themselves.
Having a special needs child could be a burden or a blessing. Parents with healthy children can deal with issues like drugs, substance abuse and children who grow up to be selfish, lazy and unmotivated.
I’ve seen a lot of people who thought they had a winning hand with healthy children, but wind up “busting out.” To raise a special needs child requires a degree of unselfishness and level-headedness that the average person doesn’t have.
Parents of a special child understand that you play the hand that was dealt to you.
A pretty good philosophy for all of us.
Don McNay, CLU, ChFC, MSFS, CSSC is a bestselling author and expert on what to do when you win the lottery. His latest book, Life Lessons From The Lottery, will be available on Kindle on November 17.
Lifestyles & Community
Related Photos
-
Don McNay
Words of financial wisdom for parents
McNay's Musings
- Lifestyles & Community
-
-
My! How things have changed
I was just thinking the other day about how difficult it is for those of us who are beyond middle age. Things are just not like they were when we were young.
How many of you have noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries are getting heavier and everything is much farther away? -
Develop your most employable skills: Integrity and respect
There are many defining moments in life. Some moments leave lingering smiles and a feeling of accomplishment, and others are among those you wish you could forget or completely erase from your life.
Each of these moments have molded and shaped who you have become today. -
Peter Perlman — Life lessons from a lawyer’s lawyer
One of the great moments of my life was sitting next to legendary Louisville attorney Frank Haddad at a luncheon when he learned he had received the first Peter Perlman Outstanding Trial Lawyer award from the Kentucky Academy of Trial Lawyers.
As they started his bio, the surprised Frank started crying like a baby. A sudden heart attack took him less than a year later. Winning the Perlman award was the crowning achievement of his career. -
Credit score insanity
Frequently, people stop me and ask me personal finance questions.
The most common is how to improve their credit history score.
If you need to improve your credit score, it means you have lousy credit. Before fixing the score, people need to ask how their credit got so bad to begin with. -
Spring Gathering at Kirksville on Saturday
Hello everyone. If you want something to do, visit Kirksville this weekend. Let us start off with the Spring Gathering at the Community Center from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. This is the craft and vendor fair. Plan to spend some extra time, there is so many booths that it will take you a while to make it around.
-
Fresh strawberries at the farmer's market
Hello from Baldwin,
How is everyone’s week going? I hope everyone is having a great one. Well the weather has improved a lot. I have heard the lawn mowers buzzing since the rain stopped for a few of days. Everyone is trying to get their yard mowed and trimmed up before the next rain. Gardeners are out working diligently working the grounds that have finally dried enough to plant things. It has been very difficult on the gardeners with all of the rain to get their gardens planted. Oh, won’t those fresh vegetables taste good. -
Union City Day is this Saturday
Union City Day is this Saturday. There will be music, food and yard sales including some "Made in Union City" items. I have heard that one of the music sessions will include folks from Union City Baptist Church with ukuleles. For yard sales, you can start setting up at 7 a.m. Saturday morning. It will be a great day to get out and meet your neighbors. Two raffles are underway, one is for a quilt handmade by Mary Sewell. Raffle tickets are available for several prizes including, a 32 inch TV, a Garmin GPS unit and Paula Deen Cookware. See a Ruritan member to purchase tickets. Drawings will be after 2 p.m. All proceeds from both raffles will go to the floor replacement fund.
-
The sun is going to shine for us
It's another cloudy Tuesday here in Paint Lick, but folks, the sun is going to shine for us all this week, so we can get into our gardens and plow up our fields and just be happy that maybe the rain will stay away, at least for a little while. We have a wonderful breeze out that will soon dry the ground.
-
A little history and a lot of enjoyment for Memorial Day!
Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday which occurs every year, on the fourth Monday, in May; however, Sunday afternoon is the day encouraged for grave decoration.
Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women, who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces during the Civil War. -
Diamond Crick
I thought I would tell you one of my family stories even though it’s not a Newby story. It seems no matter what part of the country you’re from, a country tale sounds the same.
- More Lifestyles & Community Headlines
-
My! How things have changed
Raw: Tearful Reunion After Okla. Tornado
OKC Hospital Describes Treating Tornado Wounded
Obama Pledges Urgent Aid for Tornado Victims
Raw: Aerials Show Path of Oklahoma Destruction
Raw: Widespread Destruction in Moore, Okla.
Raw: Massive Funnel Clouds in Oklahoma
Raw: Japan's WWII Atrocities Under Fire in Seoul
Voters Could Elect LA's First Female Mayor
Raw: Rescuers Pull Tornado Survivors to Safety
Oklahoma Gov: 'Hearts Are Broken' After Tornado
Raw: Walking in a Flattened Okla. Neighborhood
Raw: Rescue Workers Search Oklahoma School
Raw: Witness Describes Scene After Okla. Tornado
