RICHMOND —
I was just thinking the other day about how difficult it is to be old. We stay confused much of the time. Things continue to change, often faster than we can comprehend.
We notice that stairs are getting steeper, groceries are getting heavier and everything is farther away. I walked a bit in my neighborhood and was dumbfounded to discover how long the street alongside my house has become.
People are becoming less and less considerate, especially youngsters. They seem to speak in whispers and when they are asked to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, mouthing the same silent message. Do they think we are lip readers?
I was busy shaving the other day, and while doing so, I happened to glance at myself in the mirror, and really now, they don’t even make mirrors like they used to.
Have you noticed how fast everyone drives these days? You risk life and limb when you pull into the highway in front of them. Their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are suspect these days. Why else would they label a pair of slacks that are actually 34-inch waist as 44? The makers of bathroom scales pull the same prank. I’d never let myself weigh what my scale reads.
The phone company is in on the conspiracy. They print phone books in such small type, no one could ever find a number.
A guide was showing a group of seniors through a zoo. They came to a cage of kangaroos and the guide said, “Here we have natives of Australia.” One of the dear ladies said, “And to think, my sister married one of them.”
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, observed an elderly member of the congregation get up and leave during the middle of his sermon. The senior returned just as the sermon was ending. As the gentleman was going out, the pastor said, “I saw you leave. I hope nothing was wrong.” The senior citizen replied, “No, nothing was wrong, I just went out to get a haircut.” The pastor was puzzled by his answer and asked, “Why didn’t you get a haircut before the service?” The senior answered, “I didn’t need one then.”
Consider these facts — You’re old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you used to get from a roller coaster. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells remain forever. Isn’t this amazing? You hang something in your closet and it shrinks two sizes. The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have become good friends.
A lady was about to celebrate her 100th birthday. Her hairdresser had promised complimentary hair services when she reached that milestone. The hairdresser was talking with the elder as she was doing her hair. She told her she was exactly half her age. The old lady was silent for a few moments, and then said, “There’s only one thing that worries me about this. What will I do when you are too old to do my hair?”
On July 1, a column appeared in this newspaper written by our editor, Lorie Love Hailey. In that column, Lorie wrote about her teen years and about the fact that she and her teen-aged friends loved the musical group, “New Kids On the Block.” That immediately sent my sick mind into overdrive. I thought perhaps I’d begin a music group and call it, “Old Folks In the Neighborhood.” I wonder, will Lorie and her friends like my group?
Trivia answer
The name dashboard for a car’s instrument panel dates back to horse and buggy days. Horses kicked up mud and dirt, splashing the passengers in the buggy. The dashboard was devised to protect them.
Trivia question
What Kentucky native was the first female vocalist to appear on the cover of Time Magazine?
Thought for the day
Inside every older person, there’s a young person, wondering what happened.
(Editor’s note: I am anxiously awaiting the debut album of “Old Folks in the Neighborhood.”)
Lifestyles & Community
Aging is tough, and sometimes funny
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Happy are they who finish what they start
Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.
— Psalm 144:15 -
Looking at various things
During my eight years away from home (Richmond and Madison County) the post office tower was a beacon welcoming me home.
Today, the the stone edifice completed in the 1892 as a post office and federal courthouse is the Madison Hall of Justice. -
Things are different than when we were young
I was just thinking the other day about how confused we seniors are most of the time. Things are so different than when we were young. We find it hard to understand much of what we are confronted with.
Some things like this happen to us frequently. We begin a conversation with, “In my day.” We look so old we are followed around by archeologists. We tell our kids that old age causes us to become wiser and they tell us, “Then you must be a genius.” We no longer look forward to a wild evening out, but look forward to a dull evening in. -
We are heirs and joint-heirs to His kingdom
“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
“For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
“For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. — Rom 8:14-19 -
How little exercise is necessary for good health?
How little exercise is necessary for good health?
That question was the subject of a recent investigation by a team of exercise scientists at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, and the answer seems to be a lot less than we might think, as long as we’re willing to put in the effort. -
A mother’s love never stops
A mothers love will always be there. Even when everyone else stops to rest, her love for her family continues. She is always working, carring and sharing what she has with her children, even if she has to do without for herself.
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Start planting your hot weather vegetables now
Hopefully, the unusual spate of unseasonably warm weather we had earlier this spring did not fool you, and you’ve been patiently waiting to get your hot weather veggies, such as tomatoes and peppers, into your summer vegetable garden.Now is a good time to start planting these delectable goodies.
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Rethinking the benefits of crunches
I’ve been doing crunches all my adult life and it may be one of the reasons I have back problems. Research from the University of Waterloo in Ontario has found that repeated bending of the spine, such as occurs when doing crunches, can contribute over time to damage of spinal discs. The results are presented — along with a lot of other useful information — in the book, “Ultimate Back Fitness and Performance” by Stuart McGill.
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Is 401(k) good for America?
Internal Revenue Code section 401(k) is the only section of the US tax code that average people can cite.
They know it has something to do with whether or not they can retire with dignity. Or retire at all. -
He is there when you need Him
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. — Psalm 139:7-10 - More Lifestyles & Community Headlines
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